Woman gives birth to her 14th child from 14 different fathers

A 36-year old Michigan woman, Anita Sullivan Jones, has set the records straight by giving birth to her 14th child from the 14th husband.

The alleged woman at the hospital

Reports has made it known that Ms Jones has been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records after giving birth at the Harper University Hospital on Tuesday, February 16. She is said to be the first woman in world record to have children for more than thirteen different men. “I’m extremely proud to have broken a World Record,” Ms. Jones told reporters. “My mother always told me that I was lazy and worthless, and that I would never accomplish anything in my life. Now, I’ve shown everyone that she was wrong, and that I can even be the best in the world when I put my mind to something. 

In fact, I’ve just accomplished something that no one had done before!” Anita Jones says she’s been unlucky with relationships in the past, but she believes that this time she may have found the man of her life. “I’m good at having babies, but I’m really awful when it comes to picking the fathers of my children. This time, however, I think I’ve learned from my past mistakes. Ramón isn’t like all the jerks I’ve dated before. 

We’ve been together for almost a year and a half, and I really believe it could work between us.” Jones’ thirteen other children looked really happy to meet their new sibling at the hospital. They were also said to be filled with joy for their mother, who (according to them) against all odds had broken a Guinness World Record, and posed happily for the 2017 edition of the book.

The other 13 children at the hospital

After their meeting with Ms. Jones, the representatives of Guinness opened a second investigation concerning the record for the number of child support pensions received by one person. The Detroit native is already the beneficiary of pensions paid by 11 different men, and is implicated in two other custody cases, which should proceed before the family court over the next two months. The investigation should be over by the month of March 2016, and Guinness will then be able to tell if Ms. Jones holds a second World Record or not. Errr, can they tie the tube of the woman already? What the heck??!